I listen to people. It is harder to immunize me against people who are percieved as inferior than it is for most people. I think I have had special training in this. When I see someone I cant relate to at all I have an inner dialogue that reminds me that Im likely to mispercieve them and that I need to pay attention to my initial reactions but also reevaluate them.
This can put me at a lot of risk. I feel more strongly when people say racist things to me because I havent made them niggers in my mind. Maybe I could learn to if I keep calling them niggers in private. I would save me a lot of pain to be sure.
I also have to constantly remind myself that people have different lives that shape them differently, and that it can cause them to cause me harm if I am too open to them.
But despite that, especially when the physical or present risk is low, I listen to people and try to understand them no matter where they come from and even no matter what they think of me.
I know it is wrong to forive people who hate me, and I am getting better at not doing it, but I am mortally afraid that if I stop being able to hear them, I cant watch them for signs of increase in agression that could cause me harm, and I have to have some softness towards them to keep my ears open.
