Often when I am walking after dark there will be quite a few people pass by me with pulsing lights on their bikes. Most don't mess with me but there are a couple who have tweaked their lights, changing the frequency of the pulse or changing the color. When I attempt to look away or shift my gaze, some will aim themselves at me more directly.
Two nights ago I was walking and a cloud full of heat lightening was retreating to the northeast. The entire cloud was pulsing. Only Allah controls where the lightening strikes or the rate at which it flashes. So those of you who like to show me flashing lights need to keep that in mind, that Allah is greater. I bring this up because its not always bicycle lights, Gramps' neighbor uses a small handheld device he always wants me to look at, says its his new earring. Its odd, but I thought you might understand that whatever you are trying to do you wont be successful at.
So Im looking at this cloud and a guy with a woman and a small brown dog passes me, I see him in the corner of my eye and he looks like hes trying to look at my face, I am busy with something I want to do so I give him no response at all, I don't even try to avoid him. He says something to the woman like "that's it Im going to put a stop to this". Odd someone always says that when I've relaxed. For many years people have treated my relaxation as a threat to them and the worst things they have cooked up have come at me at those times.
When I see the police approaching me and that they decided not to stop me I realize just how fucked up people around here are. I assume the guy was a catholic. They notice the cloud and decide, well just to be sure they might as well walk a little longer, and enjoy the cloud too (seriously it was better than fireworks usually are).
If I called the police every time these people do suspicious things, like move in and throw their furniture around all night, run up and down the stairs (why does someone always do that when I start running water for a bath? that has had me curious for a few years) or start driving back and forth in front of my place wherever it is, they'd get seriously tired of hearing from me, or we'd have to start dating (not too many people are almost comfortable with police).
Anyway when I relax like that I have a tendency to think deeply about things. For a while I was talking to Allah and getting answers, then I had a discussion with some local indians about women's roles. Allah was kinda still in the background on that one and we talked about head injuries and women and the Dajjal. As he was Sitting Bull, he has a deep fear of our area believing he was trapped here away from his glory and wasted debaucerously by people he never wants to see again. We wont do all our things here like the indians when we are under embargo from the brave new world he has rules for interacting with, but we have to do some things the same or he will not feel the fear. In fact when Jesus kills him, he goes after him not the other way around.
The indians used to hit all girls on the head. and like me not all stayed retarded though many did. Allah mentioned that he set it up so my folks didnt have to come up with a new way as the only woman who they didn't want to hit was hit by other people for them without having to ask.
When I was pretty dull from all this I was on the phone when lightening struck the line or near it. After that my verbal skills became a lot better, though this was after I had completed two degrees (aparently they teach people to decieve people, not convince them and what my problem was was that I was convincing rather than deceptive so no one cares about my grades that is failure). So it was a double message, Allah makes things easier for us some times, doesn't want us to work too hard though he wants us to struggle enough and to emphasize this he sent a cicada to walk past me in its underground shell. It was just crawling along beside me just about ready to pop out and have wings to fly with (though once they get wings they can forget moving in straight lines like this one was doing).
The Indians also said I was one of those nonsequiter kind of women, who walks right into the mens councils without getting driven out and they also listen to me. I said something about not fully agreeing in spirit with all the restrictions on women, saying I see the reason and all but I'm not sure I can be fully trusted to uphold all this myself towards others whether it applies to me or not. They laughed and said why be trustworthy when no one is going to ever trust you anyway, I laughed at that and said yeh good point.
