I'm still learning the differences in your way of assimilating information, but I'm making pretty good educated guesses about how you would respond differently if you had exposure to information on another level. I may have contributed at some point to encouraging a feeling of being less reactive to people, but I also thought my influence wasn't so great that if you let yourself experience how people would react to knowing you in a real way you would make completely different choices about how you interact with them, and might have to reassess some life plans or at least the roads you would take to get there.
Sometimes I learn things in a way that I dont articulate, and sometimes I bullshit over that for various reasons voluntary and involuntary. At one point we both had partial understanding of appropriate aggression but when we get more complete understanding we will understand the same things, meaning the abandonment of a lot of bullshit, or at least using it differently.
I don't know if you need time by yourself to think about how to deal with people differently, but if you didn't check in last night because you didn't want me to see it, dont worry about that, I like that side of you better than I think you think.
Sometimes we get stuck on a wrong idea and a powerful right experience just distracts us from it. By the time we think to look back on what we used to hold true we find we have abandoned it so completely that we have to process it just so we dont sound off if someone who hasn't stopped by in a while brings it up. If we have time for that, and a lot of times we dont.
I'm a lot angrier than I used to be, and think that makes me more centered and happy in a real way. And I've dropped a lot of shoulds.
*Dad said if there was a woman on this planet who had too many important skills to have time for sex it was probably you, but all work and no play isn't good for anyone's skill set, he also said as much as I needed you to do this kind of work back then that it wouldn't be good for you and I would understand it better later*
