So we got to sorting through our energies yesterday and I got to thinking about things I was looking at and dealing with as a template for change. One thing that happened was when I went for a walk a couple with some dogs was camped out by the bridge over the creek and they just decided to start walking and coughing as I approached on the paved trail. I heard some of what they were talking about regarding chasing Xoxo out of the woods and it reminded me of my discussion with my brother about companionship. We all knew I was the real Fagmo (I wrote it as it is pronounced and I told people the closest thing I have to a straight friend is my by husband, that is how Xoxo is thought of in pujah and cultural reference) and that the whole thing that the Boston people were saying was that since I was never actually Buddhist and always the animist leader (we used Buddhism as a foreign ministry because there was a time when the Turks were enforcing it on the neighborhood before they adopted Islam as a foreign ministry) and that I was clearly smart so I could have a normal life with companions and career and stuff to cut down on the conflict of interest my take on the whole Jesus years was all about and how no one was the real Mary Magdaline because that is a comic book character but there was a woman who was a religious leader in that region at that time that Jesus is based on and so forth. Anyway, after saying all that they also decided to isolate me from people and most of the working pujalists are also in isolated conditions so since people are being arranged to enforce that I don't have any companions after this kind of thing has been said and done and agreements have been made, we no longer see anyone's companionship arrangements if they have participated in any of these activities in any way as anything we need to brake for.
If it gets to be too much companionship can be part of the conditions offered to people volunteering for a structured relationship, but not the companions that were arranged by the organizations that decided to shove me through the cracks on every agreement.
The other thing that happened was I was almost home, and a couple of men were having a normal discussion while running and I was kinda spaced out and I was thinking briefly "oh what a normal conversation its just a normal day" and my posture changed slightly because of this and before I remembered what always happens when I look at people I almost looked at them, and this guy for no reason at all started going Huut Huut Huut and I was like thinking if I'd been a horse in that state of mind at that moment I would have suddenly panicked and stomped him to jelly (someone literally just said Huut right now). Then I thought about how it was clear they no longer coughed and now they were saying Huut so it was also clear that they knew I was sending pain energy and arrangements to people who were coughing so we changed it to checking people (like putting in check) when you have no relationship with them and they get no benifit like wages for employment from pleasing you or caring what you think and crushing is an alternative to bull whipping and it doesn't have to be fatal. The degree of crushing can be reflective of the inappropriateness or unnecessary-ness and the degree of lack of relationship or inappropriateness of relationship, such as relationship with another church I don't have any relationship with, or relationship with or being a molester or rapist.
