So I was watching another video on the dark side by the same guy, and he mentioned a few things that I'm doing backwards. I know they are watching me pretty much and that it is hard to process all the pace of interactions that people have here.
So regarding doing the local thing, he was explicit about this meaning local paganism, though I split hairs between paganism and animism especially because of the verse from the Quran about how after Islam no religion will be acceptable, and since animism is not a religion but the direct witnessing of what is unseen to people with cloudy minds and paganism is the worship of multiple gods I really prefer animism since I am post Islam. However, as per discussions with my Bon brother, it is something that is real that people can become salient of that if you engage with the energies of various named beings in the ways that they like you can get benefits from that and it is never necessary to engage with those who want you to deny the one creator though these people exist and sometimes the same people will have two accounts even if very few interact with them from the point of view of submission to the one creator and most people know about their other side and even most people who say that they are submitting are not and these people don't always point them out.
So if the people of an area are calling something by a certain name it might work if you do the same, but sometimes it does not. As the other day I was smudging my house and said "how metaquiasan" and I noticed a group of ancestors as they are called around here showing up and if I hadn't looked left they'd have hit me with some bad energy and next time I will try to remember not to say that because I am not related to them in the way that they accept. I'm even worried about using sage at all, though its a really good phenol and the bugs are really getting obnoxious.
As far as taking free stuff goes, I have a killer student loan, but I also had killer neighbors like literal dead people. I noticed that they let me study better if I ran my loan up higher than if I tried to be absolutely bare bones frugal. I've thrown away everything I bought with that money but the diplomas themselves. I also was using it to begin with to try to attain self sufficiency in order to not need to take any free stuff at all. There was also the thing where people were nit picking the way my clothing fit and saying I was dressing for bad stuff to come to me so I thought if later on I was saying about how I'd not succeeded at becoming self sufficient, because I wasn't crazy and I understood how these people are, they could say that I failed because I didn't even try to dress for success. So I wanted to at least be clear in my own heart that I had really done and tried everything and left no path unsearched.
But there was also a side of me that absolutely did not want any of those things and wanted to process through whatever it was that made me thing any of it would bring me happiness and because the people who put these ideas in my head considered themselves the real owner of the money I was using it was like charging them for my treatment after their abuse. Again all that clothing and stuff is long long gone and only the debt remains, which keeps me safer from that kind of person who will lock up a transient seeming person in their basement until their good credit has been used up then they will stop feeding them and let them starve down there. They get them from homeless shelters where they work and I knew I was not incapable I was being cut off by larger people with more established control in the area and I could do everything right to the best of my ability and squander no opportunity and still end up homeless and treated like I had never done any good in my life and if one of these valued people said I'd taken a job at a bowling alley on an outing in the program and decided not to return no one would call them a liar. So with my credit maxed out I am safer, though because I've had a phone for ten years and paid electric for more than five years my credit score is creeping back up especially since its been a couple of years since the last judgment was made against me.
As far as the clean kill goes, that is correct, however there is a use for cultivation practices that are kind of harsh, maybe this isn't something that the Mongolian nature needs to be involved with and I don't do this kind of thing to people, but I know there are people who benefit from it or if done right society benefits from it and there are other natures that are suited to this work and we have to see ourselves as part and cause of the global system and we can't entirely separate ourselves even from direct enemies or say because you need a harsh lesson you will go untaught.
