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Monday, January 5, 2015

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I just got another landline call from Paoli.

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Sometimes Tigers Make Things Up

In many parts of Asia, parents keep track of their children's mental processes by teaching them to tell stories about the tigers, which have their own lives in a kind of Asian faerie land. It is a process where life especially in Western China and nearby regions can be psychotically wrong sometimes I mean shit happens that you don't believe as you are watching it as an adult, and so a child seeing these things will go wrong in all kinds of ways if there is no way at all to talk about it. So parents developed a way of teaching their children to disassociate from it a little and tell stories about what tigers are doing where no one can see them. It also helps some people who have been through way too much there is too little vocabulary about keep their minds occupied so that they don't fixate on things that actually happened. Sometimes these stories are like I do here, writing down whatever starts to fill my mind when I see various people in my environment. Maybe I see a guy and a girl and the guy is wearing particular colors I have seen around and the girl has certain emotional markers in her expression so I make up a story about the boss of the company who has certain practices towards women he processes and brings along with him in public to help him with things and that I don't want to be that girl, but she is well trained after all, and he happens to be my slightly younger brother so I don't have to worry about the really spooky aspect he has in real life. I don't actually know this guy from Adam in the real world, but instead of being scared about it and letting it shut my brain down and cause dysfunction I write stories about it. Its true in the real world that I know people have observed me because third parties have told them I might be someone they would want to harm and for reasons hard to explain these observers have found ways to convey to me that they were misled about me, but the details I write here are just tiger stories that I use to keep somewhat functional enough most of the time.

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