So one topic that is in discussion at the moment is all the different people still here in Bloomington that I lived with in foster care at different points and things that kids remember differently than adults, in that our brains were absorbing things differently when we were told them in childhood than would have happened as an adult. The lights were on late at the pentecostal church on the corner and I recognized that I have been inside that building, I remembered it a little bit. Its being discussed that its really upsetting to people to be froze out of any information about any of the people we used to live with, but these people are still able to talk about is in official places, however they see things or whatever random things they decided when they somehow briefly had some pretext to take us home with them and say whatever came into their minds to us, and we are bad if we remember it in any way, but whatever they decided back then they haven't revisited and if the topic comes up again they say it again.
These people are worried I will remember them and kill them, or so they say. I wonder what for?
Anyway, at some point I decided I was an adult and that whatever they had said to me wasn't valid, that is when the shit really hit the fan, they were like it is too valid its the law in fact its our way of life what we says goes and I just looked at them and said but who are you? and nobody would answer me.
I mean its a screaming injustice that the man behind me has a job, he sprayed me twice while I've been sitting here, that is not ok, not at all, but where are the people who need to say that, the thing is that people fall into the trap of thinking if its not said in one specific venue then it isn't said correctly and people are also falling into the trap that if you can't speak in that venue then you have to pick something to do off of an alternative list that is offered to us by the same people who said we couldn't do anything on the first list for credit.
When Janice shut out the dog people they called Danielle and said you better have your husband call her and tell her exactly who Holly is, and Janice asked Bill as he was hanging up what he sent me for Christmas, and then told him not to call her on the last day before Christmas about someone being bad who is not on your own Christmas list. She had asked because Sarah made a big deal about the nice purse Becky sent me last year, because its $100 purse online, I assume Becky just dumped the stuffing somewhere and stuffed it under her shirt, its also "stone mountain" the other day a black lady passed me and I got the idea that she'd been sent to see my "racist purse" Stone Mountain Georgia is a place where really massive KKK rallies were held. Maybe Becky didn't steal the purse at all, maybe it was gifted to her and she regifted it to me, or Sara called her, said send her something suspicious, maybe racially charged but subtle because I'm getting pressure to end my investigation of her and I need to a new point of non resolution. Again, projectile points of unresolution cross my mind, but again I think its because they bring out the really big guns at this time of year because a lot of people want death certificates for christmas. And I'm thinking about christmas babies, and my father and my son though I'm going to need to disengage for that son thing if that ever happens, helping him get his mind around things is one thing, but between my Gypsy brothers and Cookie and the Gypsimo, or Eskamy at the office I think we have that end covered.
