6 am December 31 2017

I thought about sending the following to Janice

This morning around 6 am there was a loud verbal argument between a man and woman in apartment 1203 that involved some crashing and banging. It was preceded by hours of methamphetamine use by multiple people starting around 11pm. I would guess at least four people being exceptionally quiet.

Anyway, I assume Sherry wants to say it's me. I'm doing everything I can to improve my mental and physical health despite having to live with meth use and manufacturing in the building.

I'm volunteering information about my disability willingly, just FYI and for perspective. In May of 1999 I had been living with a man of my parents generation off and on for about four and a half years, but was just getting my first grey hair or two and starting to show signs of hormonal changes so this situation was no longer considered appropriate. Bruce was physically abusive and once hit me so hard I laid clinically dead on the floor long enough that the day seemed oddly short afterwards and I had an in depth discussion with God. After that my speech patterns changed to the point that old acquaintances didn't recognize me but this was a blessing for me because I had witnessed many terrible things in childhood and had known speech associated with remembering these things. The concussion re encrypted my mind and allowed me longer periods of time between rememberance and interference from this point on. 

Bruce and I began a physical argument that day in 99 in which the police were called and my disadvantage in speech led to my hospitalization. Eventually for some reason the secret service became involved while I was hospitalized, at this point my meds were reduced to where I regained consciousness and began a series of talks with a woman I call Tommy. She explained a lot of stuff to me about the criminal nature of the situation that I was raised in and we discussed many details about things I still hadn't processed. I'd been raised for enslavement after things had been mishandled regarding a custody transfer in order to protect guilty parties but only because I'd proven difficult to kill. But I told her there had also been people who taught me how to resist, and I was more of a hostage though persistent conditioning leaves a mark. She said that Mark is also unemployability, because we agreed that I sometimes did things for people I shouldn't because of this conditioning. This was also just after Columbine and I was on a list that had recently been made of people who had been mercilessly bullied. 

We talked about the diagnosis clinical depression with psychotic episodes, that my survival mode of non reaction to provocation had limits that ended in explosions, and the government had no way to differentiate the violent from the non violent but even if they did we talked of my employment experiences and how people had literally been killed by people trying to set me up. 

She also explained to me what a material witness is. She said she couldn't tell me what but I had injuries to my body that were evidence of serious crimes that still have not been prosecuted. States rights came up as the main reason why but she told me the secret service could legally observe any situation they wanted to understand, but there were some limits on the kinds of information that could be transferred to other branches of law enforcement.

She also said there was another more immediate situation I needed to be aware of regarding a woman who recently went into witsec who seemed to be using me as her cover story somehow, I believe that woman is Sherry since Sherry was part of my life at that time as the woman who owned the gas station at the head of the road.

I recently made the BPD aware that a type of porn involving older women and a terrorist organization from the Philippines were using the same acronym of MILF. The Philippinos tend to adopt German names like Wagner and Rodenbarger and so forth when the come to the US. I have noticed that president Duterte is having an impact on drug availability here in Indiana because I'm not getting drugged as badly as often. But losing a group so active yet so hard to see will upset someone who has already sentencd me to death a couple times a day every day for the past 45 years. At this point I'm trying to see if I can literally make his head explode.

This morning when I was running I was listening to Rock 8pm on Spotify, and several Red Hot Chili Peppers songs were on. Someone got into me and made me fall down, I assume it was Flea, since he's the one who went for the cops at Bo's party, and Gramps had to do "damage control" afterwards, He thought it was odd that there were so many people at once place that he could not kill, and Uncle Machete and Uncle Flea became Toltecs because it was what Gramps came up with so that they'd have a direct use for their energy that would keep them from trying to make too many official reports, but whatever agreement Gramps made with whoever sent him to clean wasn't fulfilled and both have made some statements here and there. I don't know at what point Flea went for help, he was given the run around until Bo got tipped to tone it down, but he was convinced until today that I was dead. 

Anyway, after one RHCP song there was another song about "waiting for the family with a pocket full of shells" or something like that, that's when I fell down, I was like whoever you were I'm not sure what the buddish shit is about, I though the song was a bit extreme, but I was thinking about why this kind of music didn't really flourish after a good start in the early 90's and how extreme a lot of disenfranchised people were getting around the time I slipped and hit the floor, I kinda wonder if someone got shot somewhere and then I had an image in my minds eye about some surveillance tech sharing the video among his friends as in like I wish she'd been shot kind of a way, I wondered if I was entering people in a way that was visible from pattern recognition and maybe that is why I had stopped dancing about two decades ago. Anyway, all the people at the party who could use compulsion or had the habit of using it didn't do anything to stop anyone from doing any extreme thing, maybe they compelled people to be more extreme and me and Uncle Machete and Uncle Flea were resistant, maybe that's why Gramps told me about Jeff Majors, Uncle Machete is the wolf on my needle point, I think Uncle Flea is one of the song birds and also the birds that people see when Bubba knocks them out, like to the floor, (he also likes Tinariwen) and Jason and I are the wild hares, Bubba's trainer is the reindeer, and Toonook is the polar bear. They say its North Pole Santa but the north pole isn't visible in this composition and I got rid of the weasel. 

Anyway, Toltec skills are an alternative use for the capacity that could be used for compulsion in another context and makes both my uncles Gene Majors.

*there is no witsec program for innocent or ordinary people who went to the police about something just fucking heinous that any citizen would feel that they should absolutely report, because they'd just get killed by the typical witsec people, I was also thinking on the way here, you know how people don't walk up to me and punch me in public because if the police didn't respond to that it would be hard to manage society at all but they hit me with abusive gasses from a hidden position, its like how I can't drop them right there so I always get to pick someone else, unless someone right away drops that specific person for me, because if substitutions are going to be made I get to make them*